yeah. cliche na kung cliche. but it seemed ages already since the freaking office blocked livejournal. grrr.. double grrrrr. haaaay. actually i can post through email to here at multiply but it wont cross publish to my lovejournal. so.. now im back im on a rag and ovulating.. i have a shitpot of emails.. been busy deleting and approving friendterizers.. and checked one particular profile..
i have so many thing to say.about my freakin life, my job, my lovelife. kindof colorful in vivid hues i couldnt spell the words right now.
work is still hell and well, alex says im doing fine so far. juz dunno with eric. a lot of new hires in the office makin me a little i dunno. badminton flaked out cuz i played with the mvp-rookie girl form red. but it;s okay.. who gets to dare smash with her? we won the remaining set.. ohh one againsta yello on thursday but like a freebie for us.. the problem only is will damn luck click us for the semis. im not hoping much though. blue is going down.
next stop, life.. we moved house so my bills are going up. still, nothing compares comfort.
love life. ever blooming. whoever he is. secret muna.hihihi. bottomline --- single.
so i say this is like (counting fingers...) my 4th dancing stint i did in the office. first was for the yansab milestone, mexican xmas, then yansab retro milestone again... and this one for saudi kayan townhall just yesterday...
buttons by pussycat dolls. choreo by ehem... ehem.. 4days practice after office hours. we did the routine twice due to public demand hehehe.. one expat approached the table and another from our very own general manager.. all the boys are on the front row ready to record the strip show. haha.
the few chosen pretty girls of saudi kayan project..
- im currently at:just here
- Mood:
loosen up my buttons - Music:buttons by pussycat dolls
this is why the word "closure" is being invented. it is for two people to ease out
some people are still able to establish a happy relationship (well with a little difficulty and unbelieving)
well some people can be closurephobic. i mean, yeah, it's over/the end/
reminiscing one day
I was sitting down the school park
a message from you came by surprise
Asking me to brighten your day up
Invited me to a movie that very night.
I looked beside me and there you are
Holding my hand tightly
Kissed my forehead
The movie was boring
But you were not
What is with September anyway?
All the songs with that word in it
Like “wake me up when September ends”
Or “Can't remember, what went wrong last September”
By the Mayer guy. And I had my share too.
Oh I have forgotten that night
Who would remind me now?
Though our relationship was fun
Yet uneasy
Somebody in your past
Is still holding on
And still believing in the promises
You both once shared
I was fearful to love
I wanted to fight the odds
My uneducated heart, naked and young
Usher was a witness, and so were coffees
Time gone away
I did nothing
- im currently at:my upside down bay
- Mood:
foggy september - Music:comfortable by john mayer
mandy had three movies that i really liked so far : a walk to remember, how to deal, and because i said so. in all these films, there are scenarios that doesnt really convince me.. well, which makes me love the stories even more.
in a walk to remember, mandy was loved by aimless landon.. loved her till the end. considering her far from cool looks, their loved showed real virtues of love. landon was changed. point is landon fell inlove with her bec she ddnt care and she was nice and caring, and strong, and kind. can all girls just be like her?
in how to deal, mandy was surrounded by the dysfunctional relationships and is disillusioned that true love never exists. eventually she had a fling. ugghhh she even said "i just like kissing him". i mean, can u really kiss somebody you dont like? okay, u can kiss once or twice... but the third time is .. i dunno.. unless you're a perv and u dont care about the person. and so the song goes.."we can't play this game anymore but can we still be friends?". maybe it's okay if the two of you understand the situation.. then it's okay. but the guy there fell in love.. and mandy just have to think and believe that somewhere down the relationship.. they had it and it was real. but what if mandy told him not to fall in love with her? is that possible? after what they did together? ddnt mandy ever had feelings for him? can they still be friends after all this time? how should you deal with that eh?
i had a fling whom i've gotten intimate with. unbelievable at first but by the day.. i grew serious. it would then be a one way street so i tried to stay away. it was hard but unless he feels the same, i would know and there's no need to depart ways. well, after sometime, i tried to say goodbye even when im dying. it stopped him though and never pursued, even told him he ggot scared that i might fall. i mean hello. im the wrong girl u've gotten to that ordeal. impulsively, i told him to delete my number bec it would be difficult being friends with him. it was like a breakup... i apologized and asked him to be friendsters considering the relationship we had, (which i guess is harmless), he still isnt accepting me :teary eyed: oh well.
and lastly, i newly watched because i said so just this weekend and it was like.. hey-wait-a-minute.. okay okay. so the three girls are free spirited, and she do the deed to both guys. how can she kiss and do it with someone when she's not totally into him? so she's overwhelmed dating terrific guys. if i was the architect, i had a girl and she was fake all along. man, im not sure how to take it. okay, so madaming ganyan mundo. and that struck me. so a person can kiss you on the forehead, smack you on the lips, french kiss, and all the sweet hullaballoos, and in the end say she's not really comfortable with you? it was like a crazy game. or maybe the architect is at fault too. he was too forward?" i dunno. i was just happy that the guy overcome his pride and they got back together. i mean the second guy.
in the end, nobody owns anybody. you are free to go. stay if u want to stay. i would still fall in love and get hurt. relationships are case to case basis. you can start from the modest of situations, find somebody in a cliche crowd, or find love from the heat of passion. some people get lucky. others just got to take risks. falling in love is a rare chance. once we find it.. i'd dare say.. take it.. and fall.
- im currently at:my lonely bay
- Mood:
love's making me sad.. - Music:can we still be friends by mandy moore
after 2 weeks was another friday off and i ddnt expect to be staying at home. man, im becoming domesticated. cleaned at home, had some stuff laudried, watched dvds, and started my icebreaker speech.
it was a good thing. i get to save money for a while after spending about 9k for the computer upgrade. waaaaahh. why do i i have expenditures like this whenver i have bonuses eh???
for now, there's no plan/news for any impending gimmick. but if i would be staying at home (again), i think, i'll always find something to do. spending time at home infact nourishes the female soul. i rest and do chores. but having a lot of quiet time makes me contemplate a lot. my mind buzzing a million thoughts. and i can't do that bec im depressed but im hanging on... bleh!
- im currently at:my bay
- Mood:
bummer - Music:dr. sixto antonio aveue by the e'heads
i could hear my uncle
inside the toilet. his
toothbrush reaches his
throat and gawks as if
he wants to while
hearing wolfgang tapes
on a surveying review
session. i can't
demarcate the bounds
where i'm refrained
to exceed for tomorrows
test is about to come.
and when the clock
starts to tick on its
final destination, switch
mode turns to a cowboic
image, firing guns like
some western showdown.
okay, let's count 2 years
more until you realize
you're old enough to go
to the barber shop all
by yourself.
feb 27 2000
4:20
samp mla
****************************
this is a poem i did while reviewing for an exam way back in 2000.
- im currently at:my bay : 515K
- Mood:
weird - Music:underneath by the verve pipe
On a trip to a debut, i was on a taxi with piscean friend and we're like close friends.
sya - anong sign mo?
ako - ako? gemini
sya - talaga? kase pinsan ko gemini. magaan ang loob ko saknya
and that conversation led me to an interest that became a part of me forever ~ the zodaics and what it says about you. i had a liking for that guy but i was bridging him to my girl-friend. i so pushed to say he's an aquirian, bec that is more logical why we're chums. aquirian and gemini are air signs kase. magkaugali. magkasundo. well, he was born in the junction of aquirius and pisces so there's a confusion. in the end, i call him pisces bec ugghhh he's water deep emotional.
after 8 years since i started to get interested in zodiac signs (oh pls not horoscopes), i got this book at Book Sale (P185) together with Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club (for only P35. grabe ang mura. it costs 300++ at Natl bstore). i just believe what the Sign tells about the personality of the person, maybe about 80%.. hahaha. But the horoscope readings that are written in the newspaper, not really. you just have to be at your best everyday and be responsible of your actions. years ago i got this palmistry book (again, by interest) but got lost in someone else's hands. learning astrology helps me understand a person better, buti dont judge them quickly naman. some things you can get at face value but the rest, when a person get's mad, or sensitive, blah blah, i understand bec that's just the way they are.. that is thru astrology..
so what's a nice partner for a gemini? i say a leo, aquirius, libra, aries.
in the end, i still believe that we are all unique individuals and there's more than to what the stars can tell about us *wink wink*
me and grandeur (aquirius) : bora 2007
- im currently at:ofc
- Mood:
tnx booksale! - Music:No Doubt's Underneath It All
- im currently at:mah bay
- Mood:
miss ko na bora - Music:temperature by sean paul
- im currently at:bay ko
- Mood:
akyat tayu!
----------------------------------------
Somewhere last month, as I was packing our stuff in our old place, I found these calendars with pictures of saints. Then I noticed that every date has a saint on it (probably, the feast say of that particular saint). Instinctively, of course I went on to look at mine and Lo and Behold…… it is Saint Joan of Arc’s day. And I was like.. “huwhaaat?” after all these years and I’ll have to find out for myself the history of my name. I remember mama telling me my name should have been Isabela but we were living in Isabela so for people who couldn’t recognize beautiful names, they’ll be teasing me I was named after the “lalawigan ng Isabela”. (sorry for the repetition. It’s puking though). So you must get the idea. Anyway, she could have used Isabel instead (frustrated name). I even remembered her askingme, how did I got my my name so simple. But then again, Paulo Ambrosio (my brother next to me) got his name from St. Ambrose (marking Dec 7 as his feast day).
so how did i found out? I was shopping at
Joan of Arc(Jehanne Darc (the d'Arc spelling is a later variant)), a village girl from the Vosges, was born about jan 6, 1412 in Domremy, Lorraine to a peasant family during the Hundred Years' War between France and England; burnt for heresy, witchcraft, and sorcery in May 30, 1431; rehabilitated after a fashion in 1456; designated venerable in 1904; declared blessed in 1908; and finally canonized in May 16,1920 by Pope Benedict XV . She is the most notable warrior saint in the Christian calendar, and the queerest fish among the eccentric worthies of the Middle ages. Though a professed and mostpious Catholic, and the projector of Crusade against the Husites, she was in fact one of the first Protestant martyrs. national heroine of France and a saint of the Catholic Church. She stated that she had visions, which she believed came from God, and she used these to inspire Charles VII's troops to retake most of his dynasty's former territories which had been under English and Burgundian dominance during the Hundred Years' War.
I haven’t finished the book so I still don’t understand where the Arc comes from. family name ata? but I saw that it is interesting. Maybe after finishing articles about Da Vinci hysteria. my am i glad to learn that my parents had been thinking a good name for us after all. Now, I can answer where my name came from =0) So there, it was like a revelation at that moment. And my mind was like “All this time…”
- im currently at:d2 sa tejeron
- Mood:
so may meaning ang name ko... - Music:just the blasting am radio
All these memories waltz in my head as she walked down the aisle. she's still stout. looked tired from taking care of her baby boy. her young parents beside her. i cried. we made realizations and decisions about love. she told me that if she chooses gilbert, no matter how hard life will be for them, she'll still be happy. i thought, how could she make her life like this? her husband is not somebody she can be proud of except that he love her and their baby very much. Life will be hard for them. im not sure how happy she is. i think so maybe. to love and to hold......
sabi ni paulo, bilib nga ako kay ate karen kasi nilunok nya lahat. masaya naman siya. he made me look unsupportive but the heck. nasasayangan lang naman ako dahil nag-aral sya.. and now that she finished school, she just got married without helping her parents. but life is simply that. will love be enough? some say no, that we should be practical nowadays. but who knows?
i just really hope for some good rain to shower on her.
- im currently at:my messy bay
- Mood: shower us God with good rains
- Music:i remember by damien rice
I was awoken by my father’s text message. For how many years since he had been doing this. Greeting me in his most poetic words.. Texting while sitting because he can’t sleep well on his back. Striving for a clean bill of health I so wish I could do more.
12 midnight. Gazing our untidy room, I’m sleeping only portion of a bed that carries the bags we used since we arrived (from the province) Monday morning. The table of unwashed plates and glasses we all be seemingly busied by labor. Yonex racket and puma shoes on the spotfilled floor. The confused shelves of perfumes, mixed toiletries, academic books for architecture and civil engineering conveys the capacity that we can survive manila life.
- im currently at:my bay
- Mood:
happy bday to me - Music:canonball by damien rice
- im currently at:bay 515K
- Mood:
akyat ulit tayu!! - Music:patient eyes by PM down
I'm back in the office and found my 40hr operating computer flowing with instant messages asking.."kmusta ka?". i'm so touched all over i've been replying quick/pasted messages to every box popping. so may concerned citizens pla. hehhe. so wot's the story?
For over a year, i was buying Mang tony's trustee meals for 30php (plus P5 for the banana). The batangueno who owned a jeep loaded with with packed meals for people working here in Asian Star. And my meal for the day was SISIG. yeah, kilawin style chilli pork head. i'm not into maanghang. i ddnt realize that though that's why i ddnt consume the whole thing. the rice was even recycled. grr.
After 2 hrs i was feeling dizzy and nauseous. Saliva trickling in odd speed. i cant etimate whether i'd reach the comfort room so i head for the lavatory near the vending mach. i puked once. twice. thrice. after that, i thought i was okay so i went back to my seat. then i went puking again every 5 minutes. Julie accompanied me to the clinic. i regorged some more until i was jerking yellow sour liquids. gastric juice na ata un. A certain ms regina from procurement came in the clinic and said she was loosing bowel and vomit 4x already. Then si Art arrived with the same condition. so i asked what she had for lunch. it was the SISIG. ahhh. food poison ito... yikers. ewan ko kung mahihiya ako or what. hehehe.
So we were sent to Asian hospital around 4pm. all three of us with Julie. kasi bka delayed ang reaction ng sisig sa knya. we had the same lunch that's why.questions came. we were all given dextrose for 4 hrs. i was diagnosed with abnormal white blood count and acute gastroenturitis (and not food poisoning..pwede ba?peace.hehe) gastro is like an inflammation or infection of the gastrointestinal tract caused by bacteria). so i have to be admitted in the hospital. ms regina can go home while sir Art had a "may i go home nlng" request.
i was moved to a semi private room with cable and window overlooking alabang. Gene and arnel (delrosario) came by to visit and chat. then slept away the night until the morning this lady from valuecare came for the billing. there is this test that i have to pay from my own pocket plus the splint (hellow?!? ipabayad pa daw ba. pwede naman carton) amounting almost 700 (haay.. onti nlng pwede na pambili ng shoes).
i requested for a may-i-go-home-nlng. the doctor obliged since i look fine naman. so i went down to the billing dept to submit my philhealth form to find out that they won't be shouldering the expenses due to the 24-hr policy. so alangan naman na bayaran ko un 3k noh.... i felt like running outside the hospital.. hahahah. anyway, i stayed admitted for the next 4 hrs. bored my self to death until Arnel (rivera) came by. paid the bill around 9pm and got discharged in no time.
so.. un ang story. ngayon mjo may hilab pa ang tiyan ko but im fine...
- im currently at:katabi ni arnel angtuanco
- Music:clover crunchies...
i was searching the web for any news about the results of the election.. then i found http://cesarmontano.wordpress.com
jusko cesar. mag-artista knlng. i told him to put his punches on elevating the world of entertainment since this is where he is exposed to apart from other things.
my lolo lome won vice mayor of cauayan. read stuff soon at http://cauayan.wordpress.com
- im currently at:bay 515K
- Mood:
breakfast politics! - Music:elekiller elctric an
i wasnt able to choose whom i can entrust my sovereign wil- i wasnt able vote so wala akong karapatan na magreklamo. hindi naman siguro sa ganun. abah! that is their job and they should work from what they mouthed us. period. i made a list though and i just hope that they win. somewhere this afternoon, i heard that chiz was number 1 and trillianez managed to reach number 12. i was amazed i felt happy for it. my bro and i was watching dos with meriam defensor in the hotseat. hindi sya kurakot pro sobrang tapang nya.. you'd think she's crazy to talk about gunning down all 12 senators bec all of them are crimnals daw just bec they spend over the budget. actually she's right, writting a bill is a subject by itself. so people who do this must be educated enough. they must be efficient, hindi na pwede sobrang tanda na wlang alam at tamad magbasa ng constitution. Being concern is not enough especially when you do not what to do about it. the level and quality of discussions and debate in the senate is going down bec there are no bright ideas bec the senators themselves don't have enough knowledge about the law.
papa sent a text messge a while a ago, " you can give your "vice mayor lolo
i would like to say a lot and this a freakin' months debate but I'm not sure how much impact my vote and/or advocacy would contribute if ever but I hope that i am not preparing myself for another disappointment – well, maybe I have been disappointed for so long that the results won’t bother me anymore. there are things that i can still be proud of about our country and i just hope that those you choose guys truly heed and actualize you sovereign will~~ much to make your dissappointments lesser.
Jayson approached me during the teambldg/outing and asked for ideas on 70's retro representation. Yansab (my old project) will be celebrating 100% milestone on the 22nd of May. i had latenights on that project and was my 'first' so who says N-O to help. so we met on tuesday and brainstormed. i conjured a 70's retro disco using Soul Train style. at least we don't need stariray to do solo performance. everything in groups para wlang mahihiya at d na kailangan pang mamilit ng "star role".
on the second meeting, now with the group leads, the story evolved to mala-Grease movie and will be needing a John Travolta and an Olivia Newton John. and they pinpointed people for the role. my name popped up but i vehemently said N-O.
Now ms. Olivia backed out and ms director is prodding me to take the role.
there are so many girls loaded in the project at hindi lang ako marunong sumayaw. the only i can do is teach choreo and nothing more. selfish oo bec for one yansab was an old journal already since the day i got OH. i cant volunteer. i told her that if we cant find a better person for the role, we better change the story. she ddnt reply. looking down memory lane ito ang role na sinalo ko dahil sa isang npaka-arteng babae.. okay sana if originally aken ang role. not that i want starring role but people are given roles.. and i swallowed so much. i am brave when the job calls for it but im a jumpy-nervy geek. so deal with it!!!
- im currently at:across elmer
- Mood:
queen biatch!! - Music:wala! badtrip ako!
gosh! save the world na nung april 23.. ngayon ko lang mapapanood.. episode 20 ba un im not sure. but i got episode 18 at home. im friggin staying in the office to cheat heroes on the web. . thank you dailymotion.com!
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- im currently at:bay 515K
- Music:parokya ni edgar's tRiP
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joanmay530- joan may mallillin
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the greatest thing you'll every learn is just to love and be loved in return...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
feeburner
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
Be not fearful of the pain
one finds when one loves....
of the sleepless nights and the teary days
for it is rare that
the chance to love, and love deeply
comes your way...
when it does,
whatever the risk,
take it
and fall....
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